Just A Dream
by Mae34
Summary: Missing scene for TSbyBS based on Lifehouse's


Author's note: I have always loved to listen to songs and think of stories to go with them. When I heard Lifehouse's "Somewhere in Between" this is what came up. I thought it went perfect with what Blair had to go through in TsbyBS. This is my very first Sentinel fanfic so be kind. None of the characters belong to me and the song is not mine either. Non-Betaed. Anyway enough chitchat.   
  
**************************************************  
  
*Brrring*  
  
*Brrring*  
  
The phone rang again and I would have thrown it across the room to end that annoying sound. The problem was that I already did that an hour ago after the fifth or sixth call. The damn thing was too durable to break when it hit the wall. I didn't feel like getting up and doing it again so I just sat there on the couch. Eventually the answering machine picked up and Jim's voice came on.  
  
"Leave a message after the beep."  
  
Beep  
  
"Hey Blair, it's Josh. The guys and I were wondering if you wanted to come and celebrate your success. The Nobel Prize, man! Congratulations! If you're too busy then we'll go another time. Call me!"   
  
Busy? Yes, I was busy. I spent the whole night and this morning trying to figure out how to deal with this mess. I didn't want all this like this. Now Jim was expecting me to fix all of this and I have no idea what to do.   
  
*Brrring*  
  
This is my problem though and I have to figure this thing out.  
  
*Brrring*  
  
How am I going to figure this out?  
  
"Leave a message after the beep."  
  
Beep  
  
"Hello Mr. Sandburg. This is Anna Sweet from channel 6 news-"  
  
I didn't even listen to the rest of the message. I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door.   
  
  
**I can't be  
Losing sleep over this  
No I can't  
And now I cannot stop pacing  
Give me a few hours  
I'll have this all sorted out  
If my mind would just stop racing**  
  
  
There was a slight drizzle when I snuck out of the building. There isn't a day in Cascade when it doesn't rain even for a little while. At the moment, I didn't care. I let the rain soak me from head to toe as I walked around with no destination in mind. My thoughts came back to the moment I got the phone call from Sid. My whole body went numb and the same words repeated in my head:   
  
'This can't be happening. This CANNOT be happening.'  
  
When I looked up, I gazed upon a sign that said Wolf Moon. I remembered that it was a bar but one that to far out of the way from the University or the loft. I must have walked farer than I thought. I made up my mind and went in. What I needed was a drink.  
  
  
**Cause I cannot stand still  
I can be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening**  
  
  
I got to the counter and ordered a beer. The bartender didn't give me a second glance and I began to nurse on my bottle.   
  
I couldn't believe it. I was offered everything I could have ever desired: money, respect, and recognition in my work. But what price did I have to pay? Jim hated me and everyone was hounding him down. To top it off, two good friends were in the hospital because of the publicity we were getting. I tried to fix things but every time I said, "Stop," things only got worse. No one was listening to me. No one wanted to.   
  
It was at that moment when I came to a conclusion. There was only I could do. I was stuck and it was the only way I could get anyone to listen. In that moment, I knew that I could give it all up. I could give up the fame, the glory, everything. I'll call a press conference tonight and by tomorrow it would be all over. Everyone could go back to their lives and forget the world ever had Sentinels. The hard part would be dealing with the aftermath of by broken future.  
  
  
**This is over my head  
But underneath my feet  
Cause by tomorrow morning  
I'll have this thing beat  
And everything will be back to the way that it was  
I wish that it was just that easy**  
  
  
I took a sip of my beer and played with the coaster on the counter. All I had to do was tell Naomi to call Sid and it would be all set. Just in time for the 6 o'clock news. I just had to wait for tonight. Tomorrow I would pack up and end a life that use to be so important to me. I was surprised that this didn't matter to me. My dissertation and my doctorate was just a dream. It wasn't real. I HAD my brass ring all along.   
  
  
**Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Been waiting for tomorrow  
I'm somewhere in between  
What is real  
Just a dream  
What is real  
Just a dream  
What is real  
Just a dream**  
  
  
Yes, I would give up my life, but what about me? What about Jim? Would he be there for me when he hears the news? Would he turn his back on me when my world crashes into a pile of rubble at his feet? He made it clear that it was over. He gave up on me and, most importantly, he gave on his gift. I would be best to pack up my things at the station too. Maybe even leave Cascade for good. I didn't want to. This was my home for a long time. But what choice did I have? What did I have left?  
  
  
**Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in  
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again  
I don't want to run away from this  
I know that I just don't need this**  
  
  
I paid my bill and left for the loft. Naomi would be back and I needed to talk to before this happened.  
  
  
**Cause I cannot stand still  
I can be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening**  
  
  
I held my dissertation in my hands for one last time. I'll always remember that I held my dreams and had everything I ever wanted even if it was just for a moment. But that's what it all was, just a dream. It was worth it.   
"Do you still love me even with all this?"  
  
I could tell that Mom felt so guilty for her part in this mess. I could see it on her face and in her body language.   
  
"Oh, mom. Come on. Don't be silly."  
  
I hugged her and felt peace. I had to do this.  
  
"I'm sorry." Naomi looked at me with concern in her eyes. She was only trying to help and she was my mom. I had to explain why I was doing this.   
  
"Of course I do. Always. I mean, we were all doing what we thought was right. Right? Nothing happens in this universe randomly. It's all for a reason. That's part of what I was writing about. I always wondered if my work would ever amount to anything. If it's taught me one thing, it's taught me that Jim is right. I got it all. I got it all right here. The brass ring. And now I know what to do. So why don't you go call Sid?"  
  
She agreed and went to do as she was asked.  
  
Everything would be over by tomorrow. I just had to wait until tonight.  
  
  
**Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Been waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between  
What is real  
Just a dream  
What is real  
Just a dream  
What is real  
Just a dream  
What is real  
Just a dream...** 


End file.
